Not so much self-sufficiency as dependence upon Him

“Mommy, I asked God to help me score a goal and He did!”

“Mom, I was really upset at school but then I prayed to God and He helped me.”

I didn’t want to write a blog. In fact, I am not really a social media type person. I rarely check Facebook, don’t have an Instagram, and have no idea how the other things work. If you only knew the time it took me to even set up this blog, you would laugh. 

But God often asks us to do things that make us uncomfortable, things that stretch us, and things that we can only do through our dependence upon Him. 

People often say that God won’t give you more than you can handle. But that is a lie. He will give you more than you can handle. He will give you so much in fact that you feel you are drowning and about to go under. 2 Corinthians 1:8-9 says that very fact: 

We were under great pressure far beyond our ability to endure, so that we despaired even of life. Indeed in our hearts we felt the sentence of death. 

When I had to take care of my newborn twins and two other children by myself after arriving home from the hospital three days prior, I felt tired but soldiered on. Six weeks later after very little sleep, a financial crisis that my husband later shared that added up to $240,000 in credit card debt, and depression and anxiety that left me asking to go to the mental ward, I felt like a category 5 hurricane had hit my house. It was more than I could handle. More than my husband could manage. We were left praying and having no choice but to turn to the Only One who could save us. And He was faithful to deliver us.

Why perhaps did God allow us to go through these trials that threatened to take us out mentally, financially, and even spiritually? I believe one of the reasons why He allowed it was for us to learn the second part of 2 Corinthians 1:9:

But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God who raises the dead.

I had learned something about dependence upon the Lord years before. As a new believer who was still shy taking on challenges in Houston for work, I had to go to meetings and do sales which left me often on my knees in the bathroom stalls before my meetings asking God to please help me. 

But as years went by, I started to believe a lie. Upon returning to college to take some classes, I had a fear of public speaking which made giving presentations very uncomfortable. After praying and seeing the Lord help me deliver, I had another presentation that I was to give in a few days. I was really nervous but I didn’t really pray or seek the Lord to help me. You see, I believed that since He had shown me how to do it successfully, I now needed to be able to do it on my own. Just like a parent teaching a kid to ride a bike, I needed to now be able to peddle off with God smiling after me.

However, a few days before my presentation, I awoke and spent time talking to the Lord. In this time, He revealed to me that I had it all wrong. He didn’t desire me to become less dependent of Him. In fact, He desired that I became more dependent on Him.  The Lord revealed to me that He didn’t want me to do anything on my own, that it was my dependence upon Him that made me strong, that it was a never ending relationship where He wanted me to ask Him for help with everything. 

He brought to mind the examples of Paul – when we are weak, then we are strong (2 Cor. 12:10), I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me (Phil. 4:13), His grace is sufficient for me for His power is made perfect in weakness (2 Cor. 12:9). 

Lastly, He impressed upon me to teach my children “not so much about self-sufficiency as I was to teach dependence upon Him”.

So how do we teach our children that? In a world where self-sufficiency and pulling yourself up by your bootstraps is so admired, it really goes against the grain as following Jesus often does. 

In the years since I received this lesson from the Lord and now having four children to try to teach this to, here are the ways that I have learned how to help them learn dependence upon God:

1. It starts with me. Do they see me praying to God for help with little things, big things, trusting Him to take care and come through for me? And when He does, do I make sure they know that He did come through? If I am not praying, that is good sign that I am not depending on the Lord. I have past seasons and stories that attest to that fact. But I also have so many stories of answered prayers and incredible things that God did for me, and I make sure to share them as opportunities arise.
2. I need to help them learn about God. Through opportunities that arise throughout the day to us reading their children’s Bible before bed, I need to take time to help them understand the character and nature of their Creator who made them and promises to love and take care of them, to hear their prayers, and desires to answer them. I have found that it isn’t in the sermons I try to give to them but rather the simple, everyday situations that arise where they learn the most. For example, we have walked the same route around our neighborhood for years. Recently, a large and aggressive dog started to put his paws and head up over one of the neighbor’s fences, growling and pushing against his dilapidated enclosure preventing us from being able to continue on our route. My daughter was terrified this dog would get out so we prayed asking for God to protect us and make a way for us to keep this dog from hurting us or someone else. I called the City of Arlington’s code compliance and did my part but ultimately we trusted God to protect and guide us in keeping this dog from hurting anyone.
3. I need to help them learn to pray. When they come to me with a concern or a problem that I can’t fix, I need to stop and help them pray to the Lord about it. As we practice this often, they will start to do it on their own without coming to me first. It has brought me so much joy to hear my two older children tell me of situations that arose throughout their day where they prayed to the Lord for His help and He delivered. And yes sometimes the answer is not always what they want or have prayed for. This is where they learn to trust that God has a better plan and that regardless of the outcome He wants what is best for them. 

We need to teach our kids how to be responsible adults for sure. I believe it is one of our great responsibilities as parents. But I believe the greatest responsibility and joy we can have is to watch our kids really come to know the Lord, to serve Him, and to depend upon Him for everything. We may not always be here for them, but He always will. And whom better to lead them to than the One who made them, loves them, has unlimited power, and can take them on an amazing ride as they dream and dare to do incredible things because of His amazing power inside of them. Let us help them discover that power as we teach them to depend upon Him.