Angry with God

Have you ever been angry with God? I mean really angry, mad at Him because you felt He was not doing what He was supposed to be doing in your life?

I don’t believe I am the only one. In a particularly dark time of trial, God brought to my mind my favorite verse that I had memorized early on in my walk with Him:

Fear not, for I have redeemed you;

I have called you by name; you are Mine.

When you pass through the waters,

I will be with you;

and when you pass through the rivers,

they will not sweep over you.

When you walk through the fire,

you will not be burned,

the flames will not set you ablaze.

For I am the LORD, your God, the Holy One of Israel,

Your Savior…

Isaiah 43:1-3

I find it interesting that He starts out stating that when we pass through the waters, He will be with us. Perhaps this could mean a time of difficulty, nothing too extreme where we can still sense His presence near us, guiding and helping us.

Next, He goes on to state that when we pass through the rivers, they won’t sweep over us. If you have ever been whitewater rafting, just picture the raft with the waves and rocks all around putting us on high alert as we struggle to keep the boat upright. Maybe we can’t feel His presence as close now due to our minds being so focused on survival.

Finally, He says that when we walk through the fire, we will not be burned…Intense heat, a trial of such difficulty that we can only dream of the day when it is over. Yet God promises that while it may get hot, very hot I might say, we won’t be burned. The flames won’t set us ablaze.

What an incredible promise from God to have to encourage us in times of trial!

But as I said I received this during a particularly difficult time and wanted it to say something else.

Something like:

When Michelle goes through the waters, God will immediately rescue her.

When Michelle passes through the rivers, God will immediately rescue her.

When Michelle senses a hint of heat from a fire, God will…. Ok, I think you know the answer.

Where I want it to say immediate deliverance, God says I will get through it. When I want the Word to promise that He will keep me from pain and difficulty, He says He will be with me.

Honestly, this used to make me mad. Why didn’t God want to protect me from every pain and to keep me from suffering? Why just promise to be with me while I was going through it?

An experience I had one night with Caleb, one of my six-year-old twin boys, really brought clarity to me about how great God’s presence is especially in times of trial.

It was a stormy night. The wind was howling mad. Intense lightning and thunder shook our house. Caleb was afraid and ran into my bed in the middle of the night. I wrapped my wonderful little boy up in my arms and spoke softly, ” It’s ok. I am right here”. After a time of me holding him snuggly and hearing my words of reassurance of my presence in his ear, he drifted off to sleep.

It then dawned on me that this is how God wanted me to come to Him during times I am afraid. To run to Him, to tell Him I am scared, and to receive His promise that He is right there. To not fear for He was with me as He promised.

So do not fear, for I am with you;

Isaiah 41:10

Caleb was at peace because I was there. I did not make the storm stop. I did not turn on the lights. I just held him and reminded him that he didn’t need to be afraid because I was there.

How God longs to do that for us! To comfort us when we are scared, to remind us that He is there and to give us the peace our soul is looking for.

And while God may choose to stop the storm or He may not, we have to trust that He loves us and truly wants what is best for us, regardless of what we think or feel.

Let’s just pretend that I could stop the storm for Caleb. He may have been happy immediately, but our land would lack this much needed rain. Or perhaps I could just remove the lightning and thunder. But then the grass would suffer as lightning helps to fertilize the soil by the special gases it adds to the rainfall.

We needed the storm. My presence was enough to bring peace to my son in the midst of it.

And truthfully, the storm that I was so angry with God about was much needed in my life also. Most likely, I wouldn’t have said that while I walked with the flames all around me, making me sweat as they put so much heat on my back. But looking back I can see that I was blessed to have walked through it and can see how God never left me during it. His presence was truly enough.

If you are going through a difficult time today, I encourage you to meditate on Isaiah 43. Choose to believe that God is for you, that He is with you, and that He will see you through.

LORD,

Thank you for the little reminders You bring each day to remind us that You are here with us. From the sunrise to the birds singing for us to the gentle rain that nourishes our land and the hugs from our children, You long for us to know that we are loved by You. When our world gets scary, help us remember to run to You and to receive the comfort of Your Presence. We love You Lord.

Amen.